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Hello. I'm EJ, and I'm an inquisitive lump of talking meat. It is nice to meet you. Please play with the stingray on your way out, they don't bite. Obviously.
ka-kawgoodsir:

isolatedartisan:

italyans:

nasdaq:

#FridayFun time! Now here’s an innovation the world is ready for: The Cuddle Mattress, which introduces slats to the upper half of the bed, making it easier to slip your arm around your partner and still sleep in comfort. http://www.npr.org/blogs/alltechconsidered/2013/08/27/216091675/weekly-innovation-a-mattress-that-makes-it-easier-to-cuddle

this is it.
THIS IS FUCKING IT.
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF ARMS FALLING ASLEEP AND ACHING NECKS WE’VE FINALLY ARRIVED
THERE IS NO MORE WORRYING NOW THAT WE HAVE THESE FOAM STRIPS TO SHOVE OUR GRUBBY LITTLE ARMS INTO. JUST THINK OF THE OPPORTUNITIES. MAYBE SOME KID CAN FILL A PLASTIC BAG WITH LUBE, TUCK IT BETWEEN THIS SHIT, AND JUST GO TO FUCKING TOWN ON THIS STATE-OF-THE-ART MATTRESS 
BUT THATS NOT ALL. DO YOUR FUCKING TOES GET COLD? SHOVE YOUR FEET IN THESE CUSHIONS AND SLEEP SOUNDLY KNOWING YOUR FOOT-NUBS ARE FREE OF THE COLD.
NEED TO KEEP YOUR PHONE CLOSER WHILE YOU SLEEP? TOSS IT IN THE CRACK. AFRAID TO LEAVE YOUR CHILD ALONE IN THEIR NURSERY? WEDGE IT INTO THE CRACK. JUST FUCKING DO IT. EVER TEMPTED TO SIP A BEVERAGE WITHOUT GETTING OUT OF BED? SHOVE A CUP AND THERE AND INSERT YOUR STRAW. PRESTO-CHANGO, MOTHERFUCKERS. 
WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS. THIS BED CAN SOLVE ALL OF THE PROBLEMS IN THE WORLD. GO OUT THERE AND BUY YOUR CUDDLING, MASTURBATORY, CHILD-AND-DRINK-HOLDING, PHONE-STORING MATTRESS RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR TO GOD

Tumblr users should never make infomercials

xcuse yew

ka-kawgoodsir:

isolatedartisan:

italyans:

nasdaq:

#FridayFun time! Now here’s an innovation the world is ready for: The Cuddle Mattress, which introduces slats to the upper half of the bed, making it easier to slip your arm around your partner and still sleep in comfort. http://www.npr.org/blogs/alltechconsidered/2013/08/27/216091675/weekly-innovation-a-mattress-that-makes-it-easier-to-cuddle

this is it.

THIS IS FUCKING IT.

AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF ARMS FALLING ASLEEP AND ACHING NECKS WE’VE FINALLY ARRIVED

THERE IS NO MORE WORRYING NOW THAT WE HAVE THESE FOAM STRIPS TO SHOVE OUR GRUBBY LITTLE ARMS INTO. JUST THINK OF THE OPPORTUNITIES. MAYBE SOME KID CAN FILL A PLASTIC BAG WITH LUBE, TUCK IT BETWEEN THIS SHIT, AND JUST GO TO FUCKING TOWN ON THIS STATE-OF-THE-ART MATTRESS 

BUT THATS NOT ALL. DO YOUR FUCKING TOES GET COLD? SHOVE YOUR FEET IN THESE CUSHIONS AND SLEEP SOUNDLY KNOWING YOUR FOOT-NUBS ARE FREE OF THE COLD.

NEED TO KEEP YOUR PHONE CLOSER WHILE YOU SLEEP? TOSS IT IN THE CRACK. AFRAID TO LEAVE YOUR CHILD ALONE IN THEIR NURSERY? WEDGE IT INTO THE CRACK. JUST FUCKING DO IT. EVER TEMPTED TO SIP A BEVERAGE WITHOUT GETTING OUT OF BED? SHOVE A CUP AND THERE AND INSERT YOUR STRAW. PRESTO-CHANGO, MOTHERFUCKERS. 

WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS. THIS BED CAN SOLVE ALL OF THE PROBLEMS IN THE WORLD. GO OUT THERE AND BUY YOUR CUDDLING, MASTURBATORY, CHILD-AND-DRINK-HOLDING, PHONE-STORING MATTRESS RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR TO GOD

Tumblr users should never make infomercials
xcuse yew

berserkdragon:

abit-0f-a-fixer-upper:

so I was randomly exploring google earth like I do in my spare time and I stumbled across this tiny island here

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so I click on the pictures and

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WAIT A SECOND

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THIS

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LOOKS

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FAMILIAR

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nearly burst into tears

blessed world

Second time of reblogging. I will never not reblog this.

BERK IS REAL.


My third grade teacher called my mother and said, ‘Ms. Cox, your son is going to end up in New Orleans in a dress if we don’t get him into therapy.’ And wouldn’t you know, just last week I spoke at Tulane University, and I wore a LOVELY green and black dress.

Laverne Cox, speaking at the University of Kentucky  (via krispymeme)

about-books-and-dreams:

powerinourweakness:

killjoyras:

nathanielemmett:

Harry Potter characters as Disney characters by Makani.

THESE ARE THE PERFECTEST VERSIONS OF THE HP CHARACTERS I HAVE EVER SEEN. 

These are beauitful

Amazing!!


fruitegg:

fruitegg:

Chief Sosa I’m smokin’ on loud (on loud)
I’m in my Rari smokin’ on loud (on loud)
I hit shawty she screamin’ loud (sh loud)
She loud, she loud, she loud
My boys tote Desert Eagles they loud (they loud)
So boy you best watch your mouth (your mouth)
Got 100’s shots we will gunned you down
Its go bow

I pull off on that bitch I’m so loud
And what I’m smokin’ on is so loud
Shawty kno how Sosa get down
Chief Sosa gon’ come in her mouth
Damn boy yo pockets so so slim
Man I cant be up in the gym
Watchin’ Sosa ball break the rim
We got lots of clips, Nigga flims
I spend all my money on clothes
Never spend my money on hoes
Man I jus be stuntin’ on hoes
On hoes, on hoes, on hoes

You kno me and Chief Sosa off loud
Everytime we come to your town
We smoke dope bitch, and we smoke out the pound
We got choppers and I swear they so loud
Sneak diss us and we come to your town
Pull up in the Rari so loud
All the bad bitches be goin’ wild
Everytime we come around
They be like Ballout and Sosa so wild
Is it because we smoke so much loud
We at the top bitch and we aint comin’ down
Ballout, ballout, ballout

my favourite pic/caption combo


fellowteen:

this is the most beautiful and amazing thing i have ever read in my entire life and it makes me so so happy

fellowteen:

this is the most beautiful and amazing thing i have ever read in my entire life and it makes me so so happy


broral:

pissyeti:

when someone stops talking to you and youre not sure what you did wrong

image

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valiantparadox:

bro-boner:

It’s days like this that I like to remember that the Irish government are ever proud of the Spire of Dublin.

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It’s literally a 400 ft metal spike sticking out of the ground. It was supposed to be done for the new millennium but they didn’t start building it until 2002.

And it’s supposed to be self-cleaning but it doesn’t work and there’s no way to clean it.

Ireland.

not to mention it’s ‘unofficial name’

the erection at the intersection


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